I would probably be happier about it if I were happy with my body shape right now. Yes, it's nice to hear compliments from friends and co-workers, and I'm delighted to have bought a couple of new outfits in size 16 now that, while slightly snug they do fit comfortably. I am shrinking so I buy the smallest size I can fit into now. I should be thrilled but truthfully I'm in a bit of a funk.
I want to put up new pictures soon, but when I take them I only see the fat remaining, not how far I've come. If I lay in bed and put my legs straight up in the air I am amazed how thin, sleek and shapely they look now. But standing up normally I only see the loose skin starting to gather on the inner thighs. Laying on my side I have an amazing curve shape, with a lovely dip from hip to waist that hubby loves to wrap his arms around ... but the fat that's left decides to gather in front and remind me that I have far to go yet and even once I'm at goal the belly region will never be pretty.
Getting such a large amount of weight off is much more important than any loose skin issues I may have, and I know that. Most of the time I feel fabulous about my accomplishments to date. But when I look at my body in the mirror or take photographs, I still don't like what I see. I'm not someone with body hatred issues, I'm secure in who I am these days and have a healthy amount of self-love, it's not about that. It just can be hard to see what others see. Hard to see how far I've come instead of how far I have to go. So sometimes ... just sometimes ... I get in a bit of a funk. So that's where I am today.
Last week's running intervals were three and five minutes, and I never thought I could do five but I did. That did give me a hell of a confidence boost, I must say. But what do I have to look forward to next week? Monday will be all five minute intervals ... three of them with three minutes walking in between. So far I have repeated each new level three times before advancing but not this time. Believe it or not Wednesday I'll be expected to run eight minutes! Then Friday ... 20! Seriously?! I mean I knew that I couldn't do three minutes, but then I did. Then I was sure I would not be able to do five minutes, but I did. And now I am equally certain I am not ready for eight, much less twenty! I'm tempted to stretch this week into three weeks by doing each level three days instead of one, but a runner friend advised me to try it rather than talk myself out of it. We'll see. It just sounds impossible right now.
Last night we made Leigh's fabulous Chicken Ratatouille and hubby and I both loved it! We had a choko (chayote squash) on hand so I substituted that for one of the zucchini, and used Lebanese eggplants in place of the regular eggplant. We really enjoyed this - in fact the only thing I would change is to cut the chicken into bite size pieces rather than leave the breasts whole. We had a couple of smaller pieces that I threw in and they seemed to absorb the flavours better so we'll try that next time. It was definitely delicious.
That's it for today, we're off to shop for a new electric wok and then groceries. Have a great weekend.